cmk.me.uk

My views on Warner Music’s planned withdrawal from free music streaming services.

A brief account of my musical journeys, and discoveries.

If given a payoff between quality and convenience, most people will choose convenience – remember cassette tapes, ‘hisssssss’. Where early cassettes were concerned, the sacrifice of quality over convenience was obvious: tapes were hissy – even with the magic ‘Dobly’ button – but they could record between 60 and 90 minutes of music. ‘Sharing’ is what mp3 has made its name for. The biggest distinction between file sharing today and the cassette swapping of yesteryear – aside from Dave Lee Travis speaking over the songs – is the immense scale at which music can be copied and distributed. In an attempt to combat file sharing, and make music more accessible to the online generation, the music industry started to sell its music in downland form. Such was its success that it spurred a reinvention of the UK singles and albums chart to accommodate mp3 download sales. What of the poor CD? CDs are still far superior to anything else out there, but quality alone isn’t enough for the mp3 generation. The decline in CD sales is mostly down to the fact that thousands of mp3 files can now be uploaded on to something no bigger than a cassette tape. It…

I went to the Tate Modern Gallery today to see just how bad things can get. So, what do you get when you mix the words ‘modern’ and ‘art’ together? I’ll tell you what: Tripe. Modern art is the process where, through the dark art of physics, matter is manipulated into assuming the many shapes that induce the human gagging reflex –much like Vogon Poetry. The gallery consisted of some of the most inane ‘pieces’ that I have ever had the urge to dial my insulin pen all the way to 11, and directly inject into my eye balls until they explode over. One frivolous piece was a plain, simple mirror! Ah, but by glancing into the mirror you are viewing the most exquisite work of art: the human face, you might say. Have you seen me naked? I stare at the reflection of one of the universes most well-crafted goatees every day. Why would I want to travel hundreds of miles to London to see it? Either the janitor had nowhere to park his Volkswagen camper van, or someone needs to be destroyed until they are broken. Somebody also needs to stop hanging their best silver out to dry…

Some time ago while performing a rendition of Queen’s I Want to Break Free with a Dyson, I was distracted by an MTV documentary about an ego-driven Irish band (no, not U2) and the making of their new music video. As with most of the mainstream music videos that are ‘manufactured’ these days product placement is skilfully knitted into every frame; …the Nokia N96 rests seductively in his palm, the winter sunlight gleaming off the slick ,black contours of the smooth, but defined finish. He caresses the slide-down keys, invitingly stroking the soft, hugging lapels of his Alexander McQueen coat. This is no ordinary music video… this is a corporate S&M video… The Script – another egotistical Irish product – and it’s little green marketing gurus have taken one giant marketing leap by using the power of the Internet in a new and radical way: ‘click-and-buy’. Click-and-buy is not a new thing, but the little green marketing gurus have cleverly approached it from a different angle. The Scripts new music video can be streamed on their website where fans are able to point and click-purchase over two hundred items as they appear in the video. Products range from a lamp,…